Macmillan Holdings, LLC. Mighty Mommy, Mighty Mommy's, QDnow, and Quick and Dirty Tips are all trademarks of Macmillan Holdings, LLC. Is your kid really sorry? murtahdha parenting at wich age should we learn childern to apologize? http://mightymommy.quickanddirtytips.com/kids-saying-sorry.aspx?commentid=17580#Comments http://mightymommy.quickanddirtytips.com/kids-saying-sorry.aspx?commentid=17580#Comments Fri, 26 Jun 2009 10:07:25 GMT Mighty Mommy parenting Leanne, I love the idea of asking "Are you okay?" and "How can I help you" or "How can I help make it better?" These are great tips! Thank you for sharing! http://mightymommy.quickanddirtytips.com/kids-saying-sorry.aspx?commentid=17532#Comments http://mightymommy.quickanddirtytips.com/kids-saying-sorry.aspx?commentid=17532#Comments Mon, 22 Jun 2009 22:41:29 GMT Leanne Coyle parenting I'd like to controversially suggest taking "sorry" out of the repertoire entirely. Being sorry means that you feel regret, and that's not even an age-appropriate emotion for children. If a child has done something that hurts another (physically or emotionally) she may have a bad feeling stemming from the tension she caused, she may feel sympathy or even empathy for the person whose sadness she caused. But she will not feel regret -- the desperate desire to take back a wrong she has done. Children just aren't developmentally capable of regret, i.e, being "sorry." It's too abstract. So what do they learn from saying "sorry" when they don't know what it means? Very little -- they merely pick up a social convention without gaining any tools for improved behavior and interaction. Like saying "bless you" after someone sneezes. However, children *can* learn that if they cause unhappiness to someone, they are responsible for repairing the situation, whether they are sorry or not. If a child wrongs someone, they can ask, "Are you okay?" and "How can I help you" or "How can I help make it better?" This is a very empowering interaction for both the "perpetrator" and the "victim." It puts the responsibility to make amends on the "perpetrator," and the "victim" has a responsibility to stand up for himself when someone wrongs him. This helps keep children from forming identities around "perpetrator" and "victim" roles, minimizes resentment, and teaches children that they can be powerful in a positive way. http://mightymommy.quickanddirtytips.com/kids-saying-sorry.aspx?commentid=17504#Comments http://mightymommy.quickanddirtytips.com/kids-saying-sorry.aspx?commentid=17504#Comments Sat, 20 Jun 2009 16:02:29 GMT Fri, 26 Jun 2009 10:07:25 GMT http://mightymommy.quickanddirtytips.com/kids-saying-sorry.aspx feedback@quickanddirtytips.com (Managing Editor) feedback@quickanddirtytips.com (Webmaster) en-us