Hey there! You’re listening to the Mighty Mommy with some quick and dirty tips for practical parenting.
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A while back I talked about introducing your toddler to the potty. At that time, my daughter was fully potty trained and my son was still in diapers. It is now about 19 months later and my son is finally potty trained as well. Wait. Did I say finally? I didn’t mean to say that. He’s potty trained at just the right time. I’m sure plenty of other moms, specifically my older relatives, feel that it took too long. At least, that’s what they’ve told me. Well, I’m here to reassure you that your child is not required to use the toilet on anyone’s schedule other than his own. So, if you have friends, relatives, or even complete strangers gasping at the fact that your child is not yet potty trained at the ripe old age of two, three, or sometimes even four-years-old, don’t let them get you worked into a tizzy. Your child is an individual and will train in his or her own time. If you personally are concerned about your child’s progress, then speak to your pediatrician, not your in-laws, about what may or may not be normal.
I’ve heard people say that girls potty train faster than boys, but I’ve also heard it the other way around. Which one is right? Well, my son trained at an earlier age than my daughter, but does that mean the old wives tale is just wrong? I don’t know the statistics of which gender has successfully potty trained at an early age and I don’t think it matters. I think the most important parts of potty training are the following:
- Look for signs of readiness
- Introduce your child to the idea of using the potty
- Start training during a non-transitional time
- Be consistent
- Follow your child’s lead and
- Reward success
Once you’ve determined that your child is ready and you’ve introduced him to the idea, you’ll need to choose a potty training method. I personally feel that the methods are chosen for the parents and not so much for the children. You will be the best judge of your child’s personality as well as your own so you may have some great insight as to what method will work for you. I would love to say that I know which author wrote the definitive book on potty training, but the fact is that with all children being different, there is no guarantee that any one source will be the right one for you. You may decide to use the Dr. Phil method or try out Toilet Training -The Brazelton Way like I did. You may even listen to your own mom and follow her instructions. Whatever you decide to do may or may not work the first time. Be consistent, but be reasonable. If you see that your method of choice isn’t working, don’t force the issue. Your child may not be ready even if he is showing all of the signs. The most important sign of readiness needs to be the desire to actually be potty trained. Some children are more than capable of doing it, but they just aren’t ready and more importantly, they really want to do it on their own.
This is where following your child’s lead comes in. You need to encourage your child without making demands. My son is a perfect example of this. If I tell him that he needs to go potty, he won’t. I can tell he needs to go. He’s doing the pee-pee dance and adjusting himself as discreetly as a three-year-old knows how. I have to ask him if he needs to go or I have to wait until he tells me. He will tell me that he needs to go and he’s gosh-darned proud of himself when he does. I am always sure to lavish him with praise for being such a big boy too. Some kids want a little less recognition, but my son thrives on the positive words. It’s great if you can figure out a positive reward system for your child that will encourage him to want to use the potty without you feeling like you are forcing the issue.
Finally, I just want to share something a close friend said to me the other day because it made me laugh and if you are still in or near the potty training stages, you will appreciate it. She said, “I look forward to the day that I don’t have to ask anyone if they need to go potty because I’m really tired of asking.” Trust me! That day will come for all of us. In the meantime, don’t forget to enjoy all of the non-potty related stuff happening now. My kids are growing up too fast!
That’s it for now. Thanks for listening.
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This is your friend the Mighty Mommy wishing you happy and fun parenting!
