By J. J. Morgan

Any parent knows that sometimes getting children to complete even the simplest tasks, such as putting pajamas in the clothes hamper or turning off a light when leaving the room, is near impossible.  How then are we expected to teach wee-ones the habit of writing thank-you notes?  Don’t despair.  All is not lost!  In fact, we’ve got some very simple tips every parent can implement into their routine to get their kids not only writing the thank-you notes, but actually writing great thank-you notes (with very little effort on both parts!).  

There is one caveat though (isn’t there always?):  It all depends on YOU.  Yes, you, the grown-up in this parent-child dyad.  Unless the parent chooses to take the initiative, set the example, is consistent in their expectations, and follows through with consequences, the children will continue avoiding this task (and many others) at any cost.

So here are your 5 Quick and Dirty Tips for setting pen to paper:

1. Follow the Golden Rule of Parenting: Always be the person you want your child to be. 

   You want your child to write thank-you notes, which means you need to write them, too.  And make it obvious.  When an occasion arises for you to set a good example, such as your own birthday or a holiday, make a big production out of writing your next set of notes.  Clear a place at the family’s kitchen table.  Set all of your items out around you: notes, pens, address book, stamps, etc.  Make an announcement such as “Mommy is going to write some thank-you notes now, so please let me have a little time to get this done.”  Inevitably, the child will get curious and want to participate or investigate. In which case, get them involved. Let them make suggestions on what to write, place stamps on the envelopes, or take the finished letters out to the mailbox.  Monkey see, monkey do; kids like to emulate.

    

2. Help kids imagine the emotion behind the gesture

   A hard lesson for kids to learn is that they’re really thanking the person not just for the gift, but the thoughtfulness behind it. To encourage this sort of understanding, explain to the child the lengthy process a gift giver goes through to deliver a gift.  Make your explanation as thorough as possible.  An example might be. “Grandma had the idea that she wanted to get you something really special for your birthday.  Then she had to think about all the things you like to do.  Then she had to go to the store to find something you’d like.  Then she had to choose it, pay for it, and bring it home.  Then she had to wrap it in this special paper and write a card for you.  Then she had to make time to come to your party.  Then she had to bring that present with her.  PHEW!  That is a LOT of work Grandma had to do to get you this wonderful gift!  Wouldn’t it be nice if you took just a minute or two to write her a thank-you for her thoughtfulness?”

    

3. Provide children with age-appropriate notecards or paper and help them with the message

   For very young children who do not yet write, a crayon picture of the child's choosing created with the gift-giver in mind can be mailed along with a note by a parent saying something like, "Lucy created this for you in appreciation the doll you gave her for her birthday." Budding writers can be given the thank-you cards that only require a child to fill in certain blanks. This format encourages a youngster to fill in the salutation, the gift received, and name. While not as personal, it's a great first start! Older kids should write thank-you notes on their own; but providing them with their own grown-up style stationery with a monogram or design of their choice will get them engaged and feel as though this is an important step in their maturing.

    

4. Turn on kids’ creative juices

   Another way to get kids more involved in the writing process is to ask them to come up with their own unique way of thanking Grandma. A few creative thank-you card ideas for kids include:  making a video and emailing or posting it, taking a photo with the gift and using it as a postcard, or taking M&M’s and gluing them to construction paper to spell out the thank you.

    

5. Enforce the “Write then play” rule

   The simplest way to get your children to eagerly write a thank-you note for every gift they ever receive from this moment forward is to implement one simple family rule: “You must write the thank-you note first, and then you may use the gift.”  Period.  End of story. Believe me, that mandate speeds up the writing process 1000%.  And if they refuse?  Well, there are more than a few hospitals and day care centers that would appreciate your donation of unused toys and books. All you need to do is set the rule, and stick to it. Your kid will do the rest. 

    

   J.J. Morgan is a writer for Parchment, a custom stationery boutique and online store catering to celebrity clientele since 1968.

   Have you found another great way to encourage your kids to write thank-you notes? Let us know in Comments below.